Title: 
Nine Features of an Advertising Flop

Word Count:
562

Summary:
In their business advertisers have to follow some rules to enhance the process of customer’s perception of the presented information. However, they are very often overlooked. It is really very annoying. So I suggest turning everything upside down and to make a flop of your ad take advantage of this “wrong” advice…


Keywords:
business, advertising


Article Body:
Another title for this article can be “How to write an ad that will be immediately thrown into a waste paper basket?”. But it is too long. In their business advertisers have to follow some rules to enhance the process of customer’s perception of the presented information. However, they are very often overlooked. It is really very annoying. So I suggest turning everything upside down and to make a flop of your ad take advantage of this “wrong” advice: The first wrong advice. Open your ad with the words “If you want …” The client will hesitate whether he really needs your service or goods. As a rule, he comes to conclusion that he will buy it later, but not now.

The second wrong advice. There should be a lot of cheerful and spicy remarks about the client’s flaws. Start with describing them “Are you going bald?” The third wrong advice: From the very first phrase, let your client understand that your product is the most unique and universal thing. For example, “Our thesis writing service solves all your problems”. The fourth wrong advice. If you are new in the business, there is nothing better than the headline “Company” so and so “presents”. The thought that there is a person who does not know the name of your wonderful firm should never occur to you. The fifth wrong advice. There are so many various prints! It is a crime not to use them. The best variant is to write every word in a different print. Give preference to decorative types, especially it concerns your contact information. The client will spend several pleasant minutes guessing if it is 3 or 9, b or d. To bring your clients complete satisfaction use the smallest type for writing your address and phone number. You don’t want your clients to find where your office is.

The sixth wrong advice. When we are reading the text, we are saying it to ourselves. That is why the larger the print - the more emotional and appealing our ad is. Make your print larger with every new phrase; make the main parts in bold and the more italicised parts – the more impressive your ad looks. The seventh wrong advice. Preach at your customer: Of course you don’t know that… or “You have no idea that…” Let him understand that God deigned to concede him. The eighth wrong advice. Your business is the most important thing I the world and you won’t deal with those who don’t think so. You don’t need their money. That is why don’t take time to explain something. Use many special terms and learned words. Let the client suffer from inferiority complex. Don’t take pains to explain how these goods can help him. He must think about it himself. If he does not know, he must find out it for himself. Any way he has nothing else to occupy himself with. The ninth wrong advice. Don’t divide your text into paragraphs. Your text is as precious as a computer science thesis you defended years ago and the reader must peruse every word. Your text should contain as many subordinate clauses as possible. I even would not write the tenth tip as if you follow these ten ones your sales rates will remain just the same. What can be better?