Title: Business Dos & Don'ts -- Funny Business Humour Word Count: 374 Summary: Whenever walking at your place of employment… always carry a clipboard and walk fast. This will make you look extremely busy and your boss will not give you further tasks! If you are going to the loo and like to read a newspaper whilst… well you know what… carry it in a folder marked "Urgent"… and again walk briskly. Have huge piles of documents on your desk and whenever the boss walks past… wipe your brow and mutter under your breath… as you rummage through the paperwo... Keywords: business,business humour,business promotion,funny business Article Body: Whenever walking at your place of employment… always carry a clipboard and walk fast. This will make you look extremely busy and your boss will not give you further tasks! If you are going to the loo and like to read a newspaper whilst… well you know what… carry it in a folder marked "Urgent"… and again walk briskly. Have huge piles of documents on your desk and whenever the boss walks past… wipe your brow and mutter under your breath… as you rummage through the paperwork trying to find that important piece of work. If somebody leaves a voicemail for you and it sounds urgent make sure you call them back when you know that they are at lunch and leave a voicemail in return. This means that you have fulfilled your duty in returning their call and the ball is back in their court. Make sure your computer screen is facing away from everybody else's… this will give you plenty of time to catch up on your personal email, make arrangements for the weekend and still look busy… Always have the latest and most complicated piece of business software open and minimised so that if your boss happens to walk over to your desk you can maximise it and ask for help! The boss usually doesn't have a clue and will quickly scurry away leaving you plenty of time to sort your next holiday. Do you want a promotion? Find out what time the boss arrives for work. Make sure you beat him to it by a few minutes every day and leave a couple of minutes after him. Always look busy when he arrives and as he is leaving. Find out what his hobbies are, his birthday and his favourite treats. By making him feel special you are more likely to be in his mind when he is handing out wage rises. If you work for a large company make sure you take your holidays at the same time as your boss. This is also the right time to extend your weekends by calling in sick on either Friday or Monday! The above applies just as well if your boss is female. Can you suggest any other business dos and don'ts?